


On Thursdays

by ElapsedSpiral



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Just Stuart getting shamed for being well endowed with no cunnlingus technique basically, M/M, Murdoc 'size queen' Niccals, This is the same universe as my Carnival fic in case that isn't obvious, they're all just gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 00:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18128396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElapsedSpiral/pseuds/ElapsedSpiral
Summary: Thursdays at the Carnival can only mean one thing: time for a shag.Featuring Paula getting hers, Murdoc being a size queen and Stuart just along for the ride. Warnings for dialogue that suggests lack of consent but in context, it's hopefully very clear that consent is highly enthusiastic, just given by a drama queen. Unbetaed.





	On Thursdays

When Paula opens the door, they're both there. She's tempted to shut it again. “What?”

Murdoc's holding his Box of Tricks. Stuart’s puffing out his chest, stance unnecessarily wide.

“We need you to resolve a dispute,” Murdoc explains.

“Fuck sake, it's gone midnight.”

“That's actually part of the dispute.”

“Get a move on Dandy, I already don't care.”

Murdoc makes to speak but Stuart talks over him in an overly confident way. “I said, it's Thursday.”

“It is.” She glances between them, underwhelmed. “If that's everyth-”

“So let's shag,” Stuart smirks. Paula gives Murdoc a weary look and receives an amused one in return.

“My point exactly Ritz,” Murdoc says. “Thursday morning shags? Controversial. Unheard of.”

“You literally said “on Thursdays we shag” and today's Thursday,” Stuart points out like he's checkmated Murdoc.

“We can't spend the whole day fucking,” Paula scowls. “For one thing, I'd rather chew glass than spend that much time with either of you.”

“I could be hurt, Ritz,” Murdoc pouts.

“Good. Do be.”

“Don't you wanna gimme a chance, Ritz?” Stuart says with an easy smile that presumably works wonders on provincial girls with limited options.

“Not really, no.” She ushers them into her caravan to save her neighbours’ sanity. “Say what you want about that sorry bastard over there,” she jerks her thumb at Murdoc, “but he's got stamina.” Murdoc looks unnecessarily proud.

Stuart combines flushing bright red with frowning. “I've got stamina.”

“You're twenty Stu, a light breeze would get you off.”

“If it blew your skirt up, yeah,” he agrees.

Murdoc roars with delight. “You're going to get yourself killed Stu,” he warns around his laughter.

“Precisely my point: you'd spunk as soon as you saw my cunt.”

Stuart takes a step closer, eyes roving over Paula and lingering on her bodiced breasts. “Why don't you suck it and see?”

Murdoc sets the Box of Tricks on the side table and flops on the bed, holding his face like The Scream. “Nice knowing you Stu.”

Paula narrows her eyes as she unzips her skirts and lets them pool at her feet. She doesn't break eye contact as she pulls off her pants. Stuart's eyes widen, smile growing as he makes to push down his joggers. She rests her hand on her bush, index finger and middle finger spread in a V. “Why don't _you_ lick it and see?”

He looks briefly confused before his face pinches. “You mean like-”

“Yes, I mean like.”

He grimaces. “I'm not into that.”

“How many girls have had that,” she nods at his straining joggers, “in their mouth?”

He strips off and holds his hardening cock. “No-one's managed all of it.”

“That might do it for Dandy.” She glances over at the bed to find Murdoc already palming his clothed crotch as he ogles Stuart. “But I need a bit more effort. You might as well get it out, Dandy,” she adds, gesturing to her own and Stuart's state of undress before starting to unhook her bodice.

Stuart moves closer, cock bobbing with each step. “Let me.”

Against her better judgment, she does. His overlong fingers make quick work of the fastenings and then, as Paula rolls her eyes at Murdoc, Stuart strokes her hair to one side and kisses a path down her neck, hands on her waist. “Get in front of me Pot, I don't trust what plans you've got back there.”

Stuart obeys, looking perturbed. “You two are gross.”

“Pots and kettles Stu.” Murdoc’s voice is strained thanks to his hand on his cock. “Pots and kettles. C'mon, what's the plan? We're not just having a circle jerk, are we?”

“If you're going to barge into my house, it's my plan,” Paula says with a sharp smile.

“Which is?” Murdoc asks.

“Stuart lying on the bed, you on his cock-”

“I love this plan,” Murdoc beams. He reaches into the Box of Tricks, pulls out some lube and disappears into the bathroom with a mutter of, “back before you know it.”

“So, me fucking Murdoc then?” Stuart summarises, hand pumping his cock, eyes hazy as he apparently imagines it. “Where's that leave you?”

“On your face.”

It takes a moment. Then, Stuart looks briefly alarmed before forcing a smirk. “I can finger you.”

“Did I say finger?”

“You could suffocate me.”

“If that's a comment about my weight-”

“No, no. I mean it's not safe, is it?”

“Stuart, have you seen my thigh muscles?” He gives them and her bush an interested look. “There's no risk of that. If you want to stop, just say you want to stop.”

“How can I if you're on my face?”

“Fine: squeeze my left thigh twice if you need letting up for air.” She smiles teasingly. “You seemed keen for me to break you when we first met.”

“Didn't imagine it like this.”

“It'll do you good, learning what women actually want.”

His brow knits. “You think I don't know?”

“I think you're a little boy,” she says, voice low. “I don't think you know anything.”

He swallows hard, hand halting in a clear bid to keep from coming. Paula gives his cheek a condescending pat.

He looks ready to protest when Murdoc reappears, smiling widely. “Ready to go? Stu? Ritz?”

“I am if you both are. Sooner we start, sooner we're done, sooner I get my caravan back.” Paula looks at Stuart then jerks her head at the bed. “On you get.”

After glancing between the pair, expression almost suspicious, Stuart lies flat on his back, looking up at Paula. “Are you really sure?”

“Am I sure I want someone to eat me out instead of getting that fucking thing inexpertly rammed into me? Yeah, I'm certain, thanks.”

“How d'you even do it? You know,” he crudely sticks his tongue between his spread index and middle finger.

“Not like that. Don't have your tongue all pointy, it's not a weapon. Imagine you're licking stamps or something.”

“Just snog it,” Murdoc says, hovering by the bed, clearly ready for the off. “They're lips, just snog ‘em like you would any lips.”

Stuart looks thoroughly unconvinced but shrugs. “I'll give it a go.”

“Love that can do attitude,” Paula mutters. She climbs on the bed beside him and meets his eye. “Remember, squeeze my thigh if you need to come up for air.”

“Alright.”

Careful not to whack him with her leg, she straddles him and gets into position, facing the end of the bed. “Last chance.”

Stuart takes hold of her thighs and pulls her down. After some shuffling, his mouth finds her cunt. Predictably, when he finally extends his tongue, it's pointed, more pressing against her lips than slipping between them.

“Softer.” She watches as Murdoc hurriedly slips a condom onto Stuart and coats it in lube before straddling Stuart's waist. Stuart groans, the sound wet and warm against her. 

She gives his chest a tap. “Oi, don't stop just because he touched your cock, you're not getting off that easy.”

“Literally,” Murdoc jokes. His expression changes from amused to euphoric as he starts to guide himself down onto Stuart.

Despite herself, the sight makes Paula's clit twitch. “Good, Dandy?”

Murdoc stops moving midway, eyes closed tight, mouth open in a silent moan. Stuart threatens to buck so Paula gives his chest another warning tap. “What did I say? Back to work.”

Stuart hastily licks, not slow or deep or wet enough to do her any good. She settles for grinding her crooked fingers against her clit, rocking against his face in time with it. Once he's apparently gathered his (limited) senses, Murdoc eases himself down further, letting out an unguarded, undignified whimper.

“Good Dandy?” Paula repeats, reaching out to touch his tensed thigh.

His eyes snap open, glazed with lust. “Oh, he's so big. Oh, fuck.”

Stuart threatens to buck again like a poorly trained horse. Murdoc makes to sink further down when his expression snaps from slack with pleasure to pinched in pain. He looks at Paula. “Fuck, got a problem.”

“What?” she asks, wincing when Stuart remembers what he's meant to be doing and goes back to jabbing randomly at her cunt with his tongue. She's tempted to reach down and part her lips with her fingers to give him a fucking clue where he's supposed to be but she's distracted by the desperate noises escaping Murdoc.

“He's too big, I can't like this. I'll fucking puncture something."

"Zippo's?"

"Yeah, Zippo's, fuck. I can't, oh fuck.”

She can't help snorting at his predictably melodramatic tone. Murdoc seems to take her laughter as his cue to ease himself off Stuart, to a muffled noise of protest from the man. Paula abandons ship too, feeling barely any wetter than when they started.

Stuart cleans his not-especially-damp chin and mouth with his hand, looking between the pair with an unimpressed frown. “Is that is? Seriously?”

“None of us have bloody come, of course it's not it,” Paula grouses. “Just a change of plan.”

“Oh?” Stuart asks, “to what?”

“First off, you're demoted to dildo. I'll teach you how to do a proper job eating cunt another day but since it's one in the fucking morning, I need someone who has a clue.” She grabs as many pillows and cushions as she can find and uses them to elevate her arse, sitting with her back against the headboard. She gestures for Murdoc and Stuart to get back on the bed by her feet. “Now: Stu, stick in it back in him while Dandy does the honours.” She pats her mound for emphasis.

Murdoc all but bounds onto the bed and onto all fours. He rests his elbows on the pillows either side of Paula's legs and wastes no time nuzzling his face into her cunt, licking and sucking by turn, sloppy, wet and loud. Paula moans appreciatively, resting one hand on the back of his head. Stuart watches them hungrily for a moment before realising himself. He gets onto the bed ungracefully and spreads more lube on the condom. Then, holding himself in one hand, he spreads Murdoc wider with the other and presses in slowly. Murdoc whines against her cunt, fingers clutching at the pillows. She tugs his hair and tilts his head. He pants as he pulls away, the bottom of his face already glistening from his ministrations.

“How's it feel?” Paula asks, voice gravelly. She looks from Murdoc's desperate expression to Stuart's near pained one, hand gripping Murdoc's hip tight in an apparent bid to slow himself down.

“Oh fuck, he's so big, he's so big, oh god, I can't.”

Stuart's gaze snaps up from watching himself sink into Murdoc to give Paula an openly alarmed look. He goes stock still. “Is he okay?”

Paula resists rolling her eyes in favour of fixing Murdoc with a firm look. “Can't or Zippo's can't?”

Murdoc's expression switches from desperate to annoyed. “Not Zippo's. I'll say Zippo's if I mean Zippo's.”

Stuart's clearly nonplussed. “Zippo's? What's that gotta do with anything?” The words sound strained as he practically shakes with the effort to stay in place.

“He gets off thinking about Zippo's Circus,” Paula deadpans. “He likes pretending that it's too big, it's just a bit. “Zippo's” is a safeword ‘cause I don't want to spend another night in fucking A&E over a suspected broken cock.”

“He broke his cock?” Stuart seems close to tears at the prospect.

“Are you two done?” Murdoc asks, more pleading than commanding.

“Done,” Paula agrees. “Shut up and finish me off.”

Murdoc barely waits for her sentence to end before burying his face back between her thighs. Paula knows it should be embarrassing, how well he knows her body, but she prefers to think of it as efficient. It's not long before her cunt feels hotter and tighter and then she's coming in throbbing waves, hands clamped on the back of his head while he drives his tongue deeper inside her, thumb circling her clit. She shoves him off when it goes from being ecstatic to oversensitive. She settles back instead, chest heaving, to watch as Stuart eases himself further into Murdoc. Murdoc winds up draped over her, gripping further up the pillows. She cups one breast and nods for Murdoc to bridge the distance. He takes it in hand, squeezing it and mouthing the nipple between his whimpers and groans. 

“Say how it feels,” she pants, cunt still giving half pleasant, half painful throbs.

Murdoc's breath catches against her nipple as he finds words. “It feels so good. Oh, god, it feels so good, so big, I can't, it's so big, I can't-”

Paula tries to catch Stuart's eye. “Tell him to take it.” She rubs her clit, knowing full well that any further climax she can muster will be half as good and involve far too much friction. “Tell him to take it, he likes that.”

Stuart is too lost in watching himself ease in and out of Murdoc. Paula snaps her fingers at him. “Oi, can you really not do two things at once? Tell him to fucking take it.”

Stuart comes to his senses, nodding dazedly as he moves a little faster. “Take it.”

Paula would roll her eyes but for the way Murdoc licks and bites at her nipple, squeezing her other breast in time with Stuart's thrusts.

“Take it.”

“I can't, it's so big, I can't-”

“Yeah you can, look at you,” Stuart lightly traces the rim of Murdoc's arsehole with a fingertip. “You take it like you were made for it.” He pushes further in and Murdoc sobs in apparent relief. “You love it.”

“You love it, don't you, you little slut?” Paula whispers, stroking Murdoc's hair. Murdoc presses his eyeliner streaked cheek to her breast, nodding desperately as he pants.

“Beg me to fuck you. Beg for my cock.”

“Please, oh god,” Stuart presses in further and Paula feels Murdoc stiffen. “Shit! Zippo's!” He shoots a wince back at Stuart. “The bit about you having a huge cock's real, it's not all going in.”

“Alright, alright.” Stuart sets about moving again, pace turning erratic as his breathing gets louder and harder.

“Keep talking, Pot,” Paula directs.

“Look at you. I'm not even touching your cock, you don't need it.”

“No, no.”

“You just need my big cock, fucking you in half.”

“Yeah, oh fuck, I can't, ah-”

“You can. You can. Fuck, no-one can fuck you like this. You'll be all stretched out and good for no-one else. Just me.”

Murdoc sobs appreciatively at the words. Paula tilts his head so he meets her eye again. “Oh god, oh fuck he's too big, he's too big, I can't.”

Paula keeps an eye on his expression but, sure enough, it's deliriously happy. She slips her fingers between her lips and idly feels how soaking wet she is, dipping one finger inside herself and moving it in time with Stuart's thrusts.

She has to bite down on a laugh when Stuart comes, just as she's starting to wonder if he has respectable stamina after all. He grips Murdoc's hips hard, face contorted as he comes, all attempts at dirty talk abandoned. Murdoc slips a hand down to his own cock and pumps himself embarrassingly few times before following suit, shuddering and sobbing against her. She gives his hair a quick pat with her least sticky hand. Stuart pulls out and sits with his back against the far wall of the caravan, watching Paula and Murdoc through heavy lidded eyes.

Paula's the first to speak. “Have you spunked on my bed, Dandy?”

Chests still heaving like they've sprinted, Stuart and Murdoc glance down and say “yes” in unison.

“Fuck sake, this is why we do this in your shitty winnebago.”

“That winnebago is top of the range,” Murdoc protests, voice scratchy from exertion.

“Maybe in the seventies it was.” She shoots Stuart a sour look. “Anyway, there's your answer why we don't shag all damn day on Thursdays, because you're both rank and I like to live somewhere that isn't covered in crusty come stains.”

“Like you don't wank in here,” Murdoc scoffs.

Paula grabs Stuart's relatively clean looking t-shirt and wipes herself dry with it before slipping her pants on, ignoring Stuart's huff of protest and Murdoc's guffaw. “I wank like a lady, I don't spunk all over. Now fuck off and let me sleep, I'll send you my dry cleaning bill.”

“And I'll send you mine,” Stuart grumbles.

Murdoc and Stuart get up and dress, legs still trembling. Stuart ignores his t-shirt when Paula proffers it. She does her best not to admire his chest.

“Be warned, he,” she gestures at Murdoc, “won't get it up again for hours.”

“How about you, Ritz?” Stuart asks as he heads for the door. Murdoc follows with the Box of Tricks. “When will you get it up again?”

“When you learn how to eat me out.”

“Dandy seems pretty good at it, why d'you need me for that?"

“Nice to have a spare.”

“Speaking of,” Murdoc reaches into the Box of Tricks and flashes the strap on at them, “think we could spit roast me next time?”

“You're already putting in requests?” Paula smirks.

“You picked this time, I pick next.”

Stuart looks between them, openly unimpressed. “And when do I get to pick?”

Murdoc answers for her. “When you can write the alphabet with your tongue.”

She shuts the door in their faces with a smile.


End file.
